Buzz Lightyear Said it Best

The last few weeks have been absolutely crazy for me and I will tell you why, because I do not know what I will be doing and want to do tomorrow, hypothetically speaking of course. Let's just say, everything is unwritten from here on out. I just finished college and I feel myself starting a beautiful and bright chapter with some cloudy forecasts mixed in. Nebulous is the exact word to describe everything at the moment, cloud-like and confused. For years I have dreamed about moving to Los Angeles and starting a career, but now, New York City is popping up in my head more and more. Did I really have that great of a time living there last summer? Would it be a better fit for me socially and career wise or is it that NYC is fresher in my mind than LA? Who knows?

For about three years now, I have had desires to become an actor, but holy shit, what exactly have I been doing (other than college acting courses, networking and reading) to prepare and put myself in the best position for a possible acting career? Have I been going to casting calls? No. Have I been looking to other actors as mentors? No. So how exactly do I know that is what I want to be? Who knows?

I don't know if it's business school, fellowships and more traveling or starting a career and gaining practical experience that is on my radar. Maybe something will hit me in Hong Kong, like a shooting star, revealing my destiny. Laughing out loud, that sounds a bit incredulous but who knows, stuff like that happens to people all the time, right?...No? Well it has happened to me before and I remember it like it was yesterday:

Momma said, "What's happening? You're losing your confidence."

The day after I failed my third consecutive Chemistry test, I felt like a total failure and as lost as ever, so I took a walk down Nashville's West End looking for a quick get-away. See, at that time, I had dreams of becoming my uncle, a rich CEO who studied electrical engineering in college. So guess what I was also studying? Ding, ding, ding you are correct! The study of electricity, electronics and electromagnetism. After a while, I began to realize I was not that good at it, but geez, all the Cs, Ds and Fs did not have to prove that to me? Or did they?

On that cool, cloudy day with my head down and pain in my heart, a guy just started walking close to me. Clearly, I thought this motherfucker was crazy and was either A) about to rob me or B) looking for directions or C) needed some money. But you know how it is when you feel so down that nothing seems like it can get any worse.

He began talking to me, "What's up man, how ya doing?" I told him that I was not feeling that great and was just going for a walk. He replied, "well, if you and some friends feel like doing something tonight, stop by Cafe Coco to see me play tonight. I'm sure you guys will enjoy it." I said okay and asked him, "are you a musician or something?" With a smile, he replied, "yes I am and I love it. I am doing exactly what I want to do right now. But enough about me, what are you studying, what do you like?" "I am studying engineering, but I really enjoy the arts. Unfortunately, I do not have too much time for it." With a final bid, he said, "but man, you gotta do what you enjoy and love in life. It will make you the happiest. At least, that's how I look at it."

You know what, he was right and I told him that. To this day, I consider whoever that guy was to be my guardian angel. He gave me a great push into the direction of my future and I started gaining my confidence back.

So what does this all mean?
It means that everything will work out. Sometimes, it's that simple.


One Life, You Decide™