Gray Day Smiles

Photo Credit: Alric V. Mondragon

As I just sat in my work’s commissary eating breakfast, I onlooked the rain falling outside. Gloomy and gray it was, but I still began to smile as I reminisced about how gray and gloomy I felt inside exactly almost two years ago.

Outside was Nashville, rain on the ground and an umbrella to my side. I had just swiped my card for lunch and was anxiously waiting to eat. I think tacos, beans and rice was my taste for the day. I found a spot next to the fireplace in the cafeteria, placed my tray on the wooden table and pulled out my notes to continue practicing for my upcoming Spanish quiz. I felt I was already prepared, but my university loves the element of surprise when it comes to quizzes and tests.

Conjugations down, moving on to nouns and ‘o, I forgot to start eating.’ By now, my food was cold, but I decided to eat it anyway. A few minutes later, I got a text message from a girl I had been dating for a while. “We should probably talk; I do not know how I feel about us anymore.” Immediately, I felt an intense punch to the gut as the months of being together flashed before my eyes. And not to forget, Valentine’s Day was only 72 hours away. I no longer had an appetite, my food only got colder.

What had I done, where did I go wrong and how did I fuck up were just a few questions that were encircling in my head.

Today, I realize we just weren’t meant to be long term, but at that moment, you couldn’t tell me shit. I was hurt, it was gloomy outside and o crap!, I still had my damn Spanish quiz to take.

I felt gray inside.

As I sat in my work’s commissary eating breakfast this morning, I onlooked the rain falling outside, smiling, as I was immediately taken aback to that day. But something was different today, because I am different. Not only because I am a bachelor, but because my views have evolved and matured.

I know nothing lasts forever whether it is friendships, a rollercoaster ride or a chilled bottle of Dr. Pepper. I now know to cherish these exact moments and take the future moments all in stride.

I now know that shit happens.

But most importantly, I now know that ‘pain is unavoidable, but suffering is optional.’ (Buddha).

She’s a beautiful girl and will always have a piece of my heart. But thank God, I am an octopus.